Testimony A

Starting CoreKids was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make, as this affects my son. I always dreaded Thursdays, that hour and a half journey with a 7 year old lying on the floor having a full blown head banging tantrum in the middle of a packed train station. When we eventually got to CoreKids I found it really hard while Callum was in his therapy sessions, as I didn’t know what was being said, and always felt so guilty. I also knew deep down that I would have to deal with how I had treated my son and that was scary.

As the months went on we learnt to listen to each other, and I was learning that the tantrums aren’t always about not winning on the Playstation, but were about his feelings and, like me, he didn’t know how to express them. It was very much like reading through the lines in a book, knowing when it’s just a tantrum, or when there is something going on. This is one of the very valuable skills I have taken with me. 

I was also learning about how to lay boundaries and keep them firm. This was such a battle, on one side GUILT (give him what he wants, its easier at the time) on the other side REALITY (we need these boundaries to feel safe and learn how to trust). We are both still learning how to deal with anger, which is sometimes just frustration, and it’s not always easy to find the root of your emotions and just be.  Callum had had to be the adult all his life, and was now learning to give up his responsibilities and become the child he was denied. We went through many changes and made many mistakes along the way. A tantrum for Callum now last 15 minutes, as I am not pulled into it and can tell if it needs attention or just time out.

We do a checklist most evenings to see what’s going on for each other so we can give each other support when and if needed. And you know the best thing, trusting that the cuddle at night is real. If we are struggling we talk, if I am craving I get support. We went through Core together as I was dealing with my issues I was also dealing with Callums’. We were vulnerable together which bought us so close and we have grown together. Callum has come through so much and had to deal with ‘stuff’ a child shouldn’t have to. I am so grateful to CoreKids that my son has learnt to be real and not had to carry that resentfulness throughout his life. We are now a happy functioning family. We have come away from CoreKids with many life skills, the simplest but hardest and most important to us is to TALK, LISTEN and FEEL.

Testimony B

Having the support of CoreKids gave me the understanding of how my using affected my daughter Katie. Building my relationship back up with her was one of my main issues. Today I feel because of the support we were both given, our relationship is better than ever. Its not easy but it feels healthy. My recovery would not be the same if it were not for the specific time and space, which allowed me to look at my relationship, and Katie having that time and space too. CoreKids is priceless. Thank you.

Testimony C

I'd like to talk about this journey back to life that I began when I got clean and started attending Core. I was clean, full of hope for the future and determined to live learning to enjoy and celebrate life but as soon as I came out of detox everything in my life seemed to fall apart. For the first time in my life I felt vulnerable, sad and so scared! All I could do was keep clean and suddenly I realized that it was not enough to make everything better. I didn't have a clue how to deal with my responsibilities and the mess I created in my life because of my addiction. I was like a little girl in desperate need of being guided, taught, helped, and reassured. How could a reasonable person expect me to be able to be a mother to my little girl Lisa? She was the rescuer of the mess in my past life, she was in so much pain, so angry and she had to start to know me as a completely different person. With help, I came to realize that I was willing to live and take my responsibilities. I became a mother who loved her daughter and fought to make "our" lives better, a woman able to put boundaries in order to protect and teach, a woman able to let go even when it's so painful. CoreKids has supported me, helped me to change and deal with my reality as a parent who is an addict. You have taught me to be an "adult mother", and I know that without all this sooner or later I would have relapsed. It's a very hard journey and I couldn't have started it without your support and help. Thank you Ian. Thank you Gráinne. Thank you CoreKids.